If you've been keeping up with my recent posts you've
figured out that even though I have ALS, I maintain a ‘glass-is-half-full’
attitude. Plus, I’m passionate about wellness.
So today, I thought you’d enjoy learning how I incorporate
various wellness activities throughout my day. Take, for example, a simple trip to the
grocery store.
First, I’m not driving anymore…
Well... I could drive, in that my driver’s license
doesn't expire for another couple of years. It’s because I wear braces on my
lower legs. Hard white plastic supports that keep my feet in a permanent flexed (toe
up) position. They’re good for helping me stand upright, but not good for a
car’s accelerator. Imagine having to drive with a pair of ice skates on your
feet! I’d be in a constant full-stomp on the gas pedal - - bringing a whole new
meaning to the term, “Lead Foot Driver.” Any hope of braking would have to start
at least two blocks back. Best to only turn me loose on the Bonneville Salt
Flats.
So, my husband does the driving; which allows me, in the front
passenger seat next to him, the freedom to perfect my wellness behaviors. Like
making sure my color vision is still up to par; at stoplights, I never miss an
opportunity to announce, “You can go now. The light turned green.” For some
reason, my husband doesn't appreciate my excellent eyesight or assistance.
Perhaps that’s why he puts me through a 'voice volume check,' with his penchant
for attempting left turns; mid-street, crossing heavy oncoming traffic. Me? I’d
choose a right turn anytime, and keep turning right till I made it to my target
street. He imagines himself Mario Andretti; gunning the engine at the starting
line. Which is my cue to begin vocalizing a low “ooooooh” sound. When opportunity
strikes, we shoot to the halfway point - - with both lanes of cars coming
straight at us. By now I’m at the higher-pitched, “YEEEE!” Finally, we turn in, allowing me to let out a stress-relieving “YEOW!” From this point on we
practice what is commonly referred to in the wellness industry as, ‘observing
silence.’
Parking Lots & Ramps
I've never paid much attention to parking lots, we all
don’t. But using a walker-with-wheels, I recently picked up the highly under-rated
art of handicap ramp analysis. You’d think city codes would prompt retail sites
into building decent ramps - - but they don’t.
Sometimes, in the name of practicing my wellness community advocacy,
I’ll raise a fist in the air and proclaim: “Hey strip mall owner! I recognize a
water run-off drainage trough when I see one! Just because you paint a bunch of
yellow lines across it, you can’t make it double as a handicap ramp during the
dry season!
My solution is to use the bad ramps for impromptu
fitness stress testing. Nothing raises
my heart rate, blood pressure, and stress hormones like hovering at the top end
of a dirty old cement ramp. Sizing up its steep, narrow, cragginess I imagine
myself as Olympian Lindsey Vonn, ready to push off and hurtle down the slalom run. With
a white-knuckle grip on my walker, I carefully lift the wheels over a two-inch gap
where the cement has pulled away from the curb and begin my slow descent. By the way, ankle
braces are also not good for walking downhill; forcing me to do a choppy “heel-walk”
down the narrow gang-plank. My ALS-weakened thigh muscles are put to the test but, they last only five steps. Even though I squeeze the hand brakes hard and fully lock the wheels, gravity takes over. I begin a downward 'shuffle-step-slide' cadence and suddenly an image enters my mind. It’s of another skier; the hapless Wide World of Sports
athlete. The one who earned fame by tumbling end over end during an Olympic ski jump
event - -accompanied by the dire narration, “The thrill of victory, the agony
of defeat!”
Having reached the safety of the flat parking lot surface, I remember
to end my wellness lesson with a moment of gratitude; mentally thanking the anonymous
strip mall owner for providing me with such a great mind-body experience.
The slo-mo electric shopping cart
If there’s an electric shopping cart available at the
store, I always use them. I find they’re excellent for practicing patience; as
in, I always seem to get the slowest one in the corral. And, they’re dependable:
no amount of body language or bearing down on the hand lever increases the
speed. I can glance down and see ants passing me by.
Not to worry, as cart traffic inside the grocery
store is generally pretty slow as well. Especially navigating around the “cart
cruisers;” you know, the short heavy-set people who drape themselves onto the
cart’s push bar in such a way that their feet barely touch the ground. Off they
go, gliding down the aisles like Venetian gondolas; their feet acting as poles
in the water.
If my self-esteem ever needs a boost all I have to do is
look around; I’m surrounded by folks who seem far worse off than me. Like the
ones who don’t own a full-length mirror or, don't have close friends to whisper in their ear, “I don’t think you should be wearing that...” These are the women who put the clothing
label, “one size fits all” to the test - - managing to cram their "rotund" lower bodies into spandex leggings. I can only imagine they've been wearing
them for days - - and can’t get them off again. Since the leg seams always appear to be one
squat away from bursting, I usually move right along; so as not to be called
in later as a witness to an unfortunate event. I mean, we all have to draw the line in the sand where our personal wellness-social-responsibility ends, don’t we?
Thrilling the small-fry fans
I often see mothers with kids in tow. She, intently
reading the grocery list while her brood darts around the cart like little fish
through coral. This is when I let my inner-child emerge. Slowly, I pull up alongside, like the big kid at the
playground who shows up with a real Schwinn
bike among a sea of tricycles. I have their full attention, and can feel their
envy that I, an adult at their eye level, has the “cool ride.” I’ll even admit to a little bravado; feigning
the need to back-track I’ll put the cart in reverse, which causes a shrill
“beep-beep-beep,” (similar to garbage trucks) to echo down the aisle. That's when I hear a collective, appreciative, “Ooooh!” But, before any of the little tykes become emboldened enough to request a ride,
I hunch down, giving it my best impression of an Italian motorcycle racer, squeeze the cart's “go” lever, and take off…all at the mighty speed of one mile per hour!
As you can see, one of the most important components of
wellness is to have a sense of humor. I hoped you enjoyed this fun look at
my Abundant Laughing Situations.
Now it’s your turn to go out and "Find the Funny!"
Dagmar Munn ALS and Wellness Blogger |
Dagmar: I am a retired physician. During my years of practice as a primary care internist, I've made a preliminary diagnosis of ALS for several patients: always disheartening! I am also the brother of a sister (Laurie Manning) who lost her life to this disease when age 54. You have allowed me to read a draft of your new book. It will make a huge positive impact on the lives interrupted by ALS: both patients and care givers. It must be published and promulgated, and pronto. Having had the good fortune to have you, and your Ron, as neighbors for many years, I can attest to your passion for both practicing and teaching wellness matters. This blog will serve as a gift for those dealing with ALS, as well as several other chronic diseases. God's speed! William Galbraith, MD, MACP.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dr. Galbraith! I appreciate both your endorsement and support...it couldn't come from a more highly respected and knowledgeable person such as you.
ReplyDeleteDagmar - I already email the link to your blog to all of our newly diagnosed individuals. Thank you for living your story...not only for individuals living with ALS - but for those of us who attempt to understand, but never will......brava my friend!
ReplyDelete