Years ago, at our wellness center in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, we offered a class on
how to break negative emotional behaviors caused by feeling stressed-out. Behaviors such as: being short-tempered, reaching for alcohol or a cigarette, going on a spending spree or finishing off a
whole bag of cookies - - all by yourself!
Taught by our Holistic Nurse who was certified in the
program, “The Solution,” was extremely successful and over time the program’s
philosophy and methods rubbed off on each of us who were a part of the wellness
center.
One technique that stuck with me is called, “checking in.”
It’s asking yourself the three basic questions: How do I feel? What do I need? Who can help me?
For me, it’s grown into a habit where I ask myself those
same three questions sometimes ten, twenty even thirty times a day - - and
every time I answer - - I bring my life back into balance. This habit of “checking
in,” has helped me through all the years before I was diagnosed with ALS, and they
continue to help me now.
Sure, it works for Life’s big curve balls, but it's even
better for all those little speed bumps that pop up day after day. Bumps that
accumulate like: a ring that falls behind the dresser, a flashlight with dead batteries,
Velcro that sticks to things it shouldn’t, plastic bags that leak and a printer running out of ink. Feel like having a cookie…or maybe three?
Hold it! Put the cookie down, read on and I’ll show you how to get
balanced again.
1: How Do I Feel?
Most of us go through our
day disregarding our feelings. Especially the simplest ones. For example: thirst,
hunger, stiffness from sitting too long or “brain fog” after hours at the
computer - - it's as if our body is a small child tapping us on the shoulder while
pleading, “Don’t ignore me!” - - but we still pay no attention.
According to Laurel
Mellin, MA, RD who developed “The Solution,” the root of our stress-behaviors
is the need for two basic internal skills: self-nurturing and effective
limits. Checking in on our feelings is
the first step towards self-nurturing. Let’s try a little right now:
Turn your attention inward
and “listen” to what your body-mind is telling you. For example, do you feel
alert or dull? Tense or relaxed? Or simply, “OK.” Do a quick top-to-toe
assessment; mental and physical.
Now that you are aware of
how you are feeling, let’s do something about it.
2: What Do I Need?
Our goal is to bring you
back into balance, which is: feeling calm and neutral. So, what simple, quick, logical
solutions are appropriate?
Are you thirsty? Get a drink of water.
Stiff? Shift to a more comfortable sitting position or even do a stretch or two. Eye strain?
Close your eyes for a few seconds or move your focus from near to far. Cold? Put
on a sweater.
It’s surprising how simple
the solutions can be…if we do them early…and not wait until the stiffness turns
into a back ache or tired eyes become a full blown head ache. Or, involve a
whole bag of cookies! This is the skill of effective limits.
But what if the solution
is not as simple as a sweater or a drink of water? Read on.
3. Who Can Help Me?
Maybe the answer is a
little more involved like: I wish I could talk to someone, or I need to get
outside for some fresh air, or I need a hug. Depending on the trigger, we often
need other people from our circle of support to help us. Which is just fine. In
fact, the more we strengthen our network of support - - your close family and
friends who will be there for you, and you for them - - the better you will
handle Life's stressful situations.
My Challenge to You
Would
you like to navigate Life’s speed bumps feeling balanced and calm? You can by
making “checking in” a daily habit. Let’s begin right now - - for the remainder
of your day or evening, decide to pause once every hour to ask yourself the
three questions. The first few times it may feel a little artificial or forced. But the more you practice, the more your personal balance becomes
spontaneous and lasting. You will find yourself moving towards a more balanced life!
Leave
a comment below and let me know how “checking in” is working for you. What do
you do to bring balance to your life?
Want
to learn more?
Read: The Pathway; Follow the Road to Health and Happiness, by
Laurel Mellin. http://www.amazon.com/The-Pathway-Follow-Health-Happiness/dp/0060514035
Laurel Mellin's The Solution has been revised to: Emotional Brain Training: http://www.ebtgroups.com/about
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Dagmar Munn ALS and Wellness Blogger |
Taking care of YOU, means the people in your life will receive the best of you, not what's left of you.
Carl Bryan, Tennis Coach
Email recipients - use this link to go directly to the ALS and Wellness Blog.
I would love to use those three comments on T-shirts and bumper stickers to promote the ALS health care center. Perfect! Instead of being told what you need, it gives the power back to the patient to respond to the question [s].
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful idea! If you do, send me photos - - I'll post them here and will mention your new ALS health care center.
DeleteLove these tips. Thank you for posting them. I will definitely share them.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jennifer. Share, share, share - - and help others de-stress :-)
DeleteVery Nice post. Thank u for sharing post stress management techniques
ReplyDelete