More Mobility Scooter Aventures (Part 2)

 

They’re boring, slow, and only for old people!

That’s what I told my husband when he first suggested I consider using a mobility scooter.

Like so many who live with ALS symptoms, weak muscles in my lower legs limit my mobility. At home, I rely on a rollator (walker with wheels). But when going out and about, I needed an alternative mode of transport to help me cover the longer distances. So, we went online and bought a four-wheeled mobility scooter that arrived in only two days and was relatively easy (for my husband) to assemble.

And now, I can’t imagine life without it!

My scooter is fun, can go pretty fast, and doesn’t make me feel old at all. Plus, riding it around has taught me to expect the unexpected and, be prepared to laugh. I’ve also collected a few tips and stories to share with you - - on how to find the funny, in any situation.

Tip #1: Always have a Plan B

My scooter rides along in our accessible van, and I can easily drive it out and down the van’s automatic ramp. Our method works quite well when we use the wide, accessible parking spots near the entrance of stores and shopping malls. But because those spots fill up quickly, we always have a Plan B.

This involves scanning the parking lot and looking for a large empty area. It’s usually the section that’s farthest from the entrance. We drive to it, park the van, unfold the ramp, and ride my scooter out and on to our shopping or eating destination.

However, my husband and I often take bets on what we’ll find when we return. I call it, “parking lot static cling,” because 50 percent of the time we return to discover that despite all of the available open space, a car has parked right next to us! The owner has, obviously, ignored the stickers on our van’s windows proclaiming: “Wheelchair accessible vehicle — ALLOW 8-FOOT CLEARANCE.”

For the briefest of moments, I imagine taking no notice of the car, activating our ramp and, letting it unfold into the backseat of the offending vehicle — demonstrating precisely what 8 feet is! (But it’s a passing thought).

Instead, I scooter on over to another nearby open area and wait for the van to come to me. The ramp unfolds, we load ‘er up, and drive off while sharing a laugh at humanity’s peculiarities.

Tip #2: How to always make a grand entrance

I love buildings with entrances with doors that open automatically. They let me blend right in with other pedestrians and enter without much ado. But building entrances with double doors requiring humans to open them, do try my patience. Especially if the doors open to a small foyer with a second set of double doors. The problem is, once I make it into the tiny foyer, I’m stuck - - without enough room to move either forwards or backward.

Now, whenever I see the dreaded double-door dilemma waiting ahead, I hang back and wait. Invariably, a restaurant staff member or a helpful bystander will see us and join my husband in holding open all four doors.

I then drive through with ease while saying thank you. But not without owning the moment and adding a bit of levity to the situation - - I do my best impersonation of the queen mum’s wave - - I call it “nobility mobility.”

Tip #3: Play my waiting game

When we’re finally finished shopping, I wait for my husband while he goes through the checkout line. But exactly where to wait while on my scooter is the big challenge.

Because earlier, while riding through the store on my scooter, I’m practically invisible to the other shoppers who all seem focused on their cellphones, lists, or in search for the correct aisle. I’m the one having to avoid them running into me! But here’s what’s odd, if I happen to be near the entrance, suddenly I’ve become visible again!

For example, I’ve tried waiting discreetly near an eye-catching display of sale items, but store staff kept asking if I need help. Next, I move to an area just outside the entrance. But then, concerned shoppers stop and ask if I require assistance. I even briefly considered waiting just inside the store’s entrance, but found that area was reserved for the store’s official “greeter.”

Finally, I discovered what I thought was the perfect spot to wait and not attract attention. It was near the entrance, next to a wall, and behind a tall plant. I suppose... the image of a woman, off to one side, sitting on a mobility scooter and peeking through the greenery, ...could look suspicious.

Soon enough, an elderly man sauntered up to me, and smiling broadly, asked, “Saaay, are you the speed police... making sure we don’t push our carts too fast?”

Fortunately, my slow speech (another ALS symptom) — prevented me from making a snappy-dappy comeback. I merely smiled back and made a mental note to keep looking for a better spot to wait.

Every trip with my mobility scooter is an adventure for me — and a reminder to live (and laugh) well, while living with ALS.

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Read Part 1: "Give a Mobility Scooter a Try: It Can Be Wheelie Fun"

A version of this post first appeared as my column on the ALS News Today website.

Photo courtesy Dagmar Munn

Dagmar Munn
ALS and Wellness Blogger

"Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out"

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